The Good Life
I was 65, single, and lonely. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I had a good life, Living in Spain for a time, I loved my life there: the sun, warmth, the sea, the Spanish love of fiesta and siesta.
I got to enjoy daily swimming, a writing group, Spanish classes, shopping in the bustling colorful markets, regular dances in our local bar, playing boules on the beach on a Sunday morning, and anytime I needed, I could always arrange to meet up with friends or drop into the daily happy hour in the beach bar.
Still I was lonely
Mostly I ignored these feelings, but there were nights when I longed for someone to share the day’s events with, someone to discuss something we saw on television, someone with whom to spontaneously decide to walk the beach.
Really hard were the nights I left a party or gathering to come home alone. And then there were the nights when I connected with a deep longing to have a deeply intimate, romantic, committed relationship.
Those were the nights when I was tempted, and sometimes succumbed, to have that extra glass of wine.
To back-track a moment, I had gone to college in my 30's (to become an accountant, of all things), ended up with a degree in Politics and got a job lecturing on a Peace Studies course.
The Man who Changed my Life
Through that program I met, and became friends with, the man who was the catalyst for my whole life changing: Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication www.cnvc.org He opened up the world of emotions and inner motivations to me and I became fascinated by what makes people tick. I have no doubt that without his influence I would not be the person I am today, not be where I am today. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, Marshall.
The Genie was out of the bottle
I was no longer the person I had been, and my marriage on 26 years could not survive the changes. I realized my real passion was working with people; that I no longer wanted to teach people “about” peace, but to help them “become” peace.
I gave up my job on the Peace Studies program and became a facilitator in Nonviolent Communication. I trained as a Life Coach. Undertook training and became a psychotherapist, using Emotional Freedom Techniques/ Tapping in my practice.
I moved to live in the beautiful countryside of Co. Clare and I created a Healing Center where I held workshops for women helping them to reclaim their feminine. Eventually I ended up in Spain when it became too much for me and I burnt out.
Single for 16 years
In the beginning after my marriage of 26 years came to an end, I thought it was only a matter of time before I met someone new, someone to share the rest of my life with. After all, my friend, Christa, had met her soulmate at the age of 56. At the time, being in my early 40's, I thought this was an impossibly old age. Now though, I watched the years go by: 56 came and went, 60 came and went, 65 was looming.
I had a couple of short-term relationships that came to nothing. I dated on and off, going through periods when I would say to myself: “I’m okay. I don’t need anyone in my life", and times when I could acknowledge that life was lonely by myself.
The Penny Drops
Then finally, when I had been single for over 15 years, I had an ah-ha moment. Guess I’m a slow learner! I saw it was not about the men I was meeting: the men who were not interested in committed relationships, the men who were only interested in sex, the men who were not emotionally available for relationship. It was about me. Now I began to see that every man I encountered online or in person had something to teach me about my views, fears, and my approach to relationship.
The Game Changer
Eventually, I met someone who told me he was in love with me and then shortly after told me he had decided to go back to his ex-wife for the sake of his (grown) children. With hindsight, I realized he hadn't been emotionally available. And asked myself the question: In what way was I not available? Umm! How about being afraid of upsetting the nice cozy life I had created for myself. That one was the game changer.
Shortly after, I came across Jack’s profile on Spiritual Singles. He was in the US, not something in my plans at all. But we quickly realized just how much we had in common, how much we wanted the same thing from relationship.
5 Weeks Later
He landed in Spain and he swept me off my feet. It was as though we had known each other forever. We walked the beach holding hands, hung out in markets eating churros for breakfast, sat in beach bars at night in silence watching the moon move across the water, no words needed. And then we went travelling to Cordoba and Granada.
And it was in Granada that Jack literally swept me off my feet. Taking me to fulfill that romantic dream I had shared in my profile: dancing with my beloved in the gardens of the Alhambra at night.
In the warmth of a Spanish evening, on the terrace of the Parador, we feasted our eyes on the magnificent beauty of the floodlit Alhambra.
Jack took a walkman and twin headphone leads from his pocket and asked me to dance. He had chosen my favorite song "Has Amado Una Mujer des Veras?"* from my favorite film “Don Juan de Marco”. And there in sight of the Alhambra, we danced together and I didn't want the night to end. I thought romance like that was only possible in dreams. But this beautiful man made my dream come true.
*English version: "Have you ever, really loved a woman"
I've found such happiness, a level of happiness I hadn’t known before, with Jack. And I know it is possible to find your beloved, no matter what age you are.
What is your romantic dream?
What sort of relationship would you like to create?
It is never too late for love
I know the truth of that and I am passionate about helping other women find the happiness I’ve found.
I am here to help you on that journey.
Contact me below now to book your initial FREE consultation.
Because you know life's too short to spend another Holiday alone.