We all want love. We all need love. And no matter how much we push it away or pretend to deny ourselves of it, our hearts will always desire it.”
― Corey M.P.
Dare you dream?
You’ve been single for some time now. Maybe 3 or 4 years, or maybe 20. You’ve gotten used to being alone. Yes, it’s hard sometimes coming home from a party alone. Having no one with whom to share your life and its joys, like the smile on your grandchild’s face when you told a silly joke, or the sight of a magnificent rainbow across the valley after rain. No one to hold you in your frustration or anxiety or during bad times.
You’ve wished for a loving relationship, a relationship of comfort, ease, support and romance, like the ones you see amongst your friends. But, as a senior woman, it seems impossible to meet men, impossible to find the one man who is right for you.
You tell yourself you would prefer to be lonely rather than sitting on the couch watching tv beside someone with nothing to say. And, still, putting the key in the door, knowing there is no one on the other side, it is lonely.
Perhaps you've given up on the idea of dating or, if not exactly given up, believe men are in short supply, and the sort of man you would like to meet is definitely not around. Maybe you’ve tried online dating, maybe not. But either way, it’s not something you are interested in – too many cons.
Yet you are still left with your loneliness. And now there is Covid. And, boy, is that lonely. No more card games with your friends, no more evenings at music gigs. Above all, you miss being touched.
Dare you dream that you could meet someone? Dare you dream that you could actually meet a beloved man during Co-Vid?
"To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything." -T. Toli
Opening the Door
"But how?”, I hear you ask yourself, “how could I meet someone, especially now?" But, maybe, just maybe, now is the time to step out, to take a chance. As Michael Bassey Johnson says,
"You can’t stay locked in your room and expect either you to find love or love to find you.”
You don't need to stay in that locked room. You can open that door and be ready for love to come in.
I am 65 years old. My body is post-menopausal, has 40 extra pounds, and I am soft where I used to be taut. I was not confident that I could attract a mate now. All the tools that I once had were gone.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw a woman that I know I want to love but in actuality I felt a deep disappointment that I had allowed myself to get to this condition. I asked myself, "Who could possibly find you attractive and, if they did, YIKES! What then?"
This is where Brenda Blair comes to my assistance.
I had several levels that needed to be cleared. First, I needed to clear the residue from my past love interest. I couldn’t move forward if I was tethered to the past through unresolved issues. Like a surgeon, Brenda was able to help me identify the deep seeded beliefs and we were able to release them. I was free of that anchor.
Next came the need to feel good in my skin. To be able to look in the mirror and celebrate my mature, womanly body and know that when I meet the right person I will lovingly and confidently share myself physically with them. Once again, Brenda assisted me to break my own long held core belief that I had to look a certain way to be attractive.
The good news is that with Brenda’s assistance I have found a loving, satisfying relationship. I went from fear that I was unavailable emotionally, unattractive, embarrassed and shy to confident, hopeful and most importantly I love myself so I am able to love someone else.
Thank you, Brenda, for helping me rediscover the woman who was always there. Alex E.
Dating Sites do Work!
Okay, I can hear you say "Fair enough but me, going on a dating site? No way." Maybe you’ve tried app dating sites with their superficial "slide left" approach, or tried regular online dating sites and had bad experiences. Or maybe you have just heard of how bad they are.
Here's the thing: they do work. They did for me (here's my story). I met my beloved husband at the age of 65, after being single for 16 years.
For 13 years on and off, not meeting single men locally, I tried dating sites. And believe me, in that time, I learned a huge amount of what works and what doesn't work. Then finally I cracked it. That was when I met Jack.
Probably one of the greatest benefits of dating sites and connecting online is that it slows things down (and, heaven knows, we are not exactly in a rush these days). There isn't the "distraction" of physical intimacy. There's only so much superficiality you can engage in.
Eventually, it either becomes boring, or it goes deeper - deeper into sharing who you really are. Could you picture getting to a point with someone on a video call and sitting in silence, staring deeply into each other's eyes? Yup, it can happen. It happened with me and Jack, and by the time we eventually met, we had a depth of connection I had not experienced before in my life.
See, a relationship is not just about physical intimacy. It's also about other kinds of intimacy: emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential, and spiritual. I think of physical intimacy as being like a spark - it flares up brightly but goes out without fuel. Other forms of intimacy are the fuel that help keep that fire burning, or indeed ignite that spark.
And meeting someone online is a super way of developing intimacy.
When it's time for souls to meet,
there's nothing on earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located -
Join Me to
Unlock the Secrets to Finding Love Online
This 6-session online course will help YOU find the keys.
Week 1: So, I don't believe Dating Sites can work
During this session, we will look at the pros and cons of dating sites, learn how to identify scammers, and identify dating sites that would be a good fit for you. We will use tapping to release any negaive beliefs you may be holding around dating as a senior woman, and around dating sites in particular.
Week 2: What gets in the way of my finding love?
This week we will look at past relationships and identify any patterns you have had in relationship. Why do you keep attracting the same sort of men? How knowing your primary attachment style can help you see it's not about them - it's about you.
Week 3: My vision of relationship
In this session, we will explore your "must haves" and non-negotiables, your love language, and the values you bring to relationship, and create your vision for relationship. What would it look like? What would a day in the life of you and your beloved hold?
Week 4: The man who is right for me!
Here we turn our attention to the kind of man you want your partner to be.: his values, characteristics and skills. Tapping, you will let go negative beliefs about men in general.
Week 5: Ready to go ....
By now, you have your profile. Let's stress test it. How happy are you with it? How well does it represent you and what you would like in relationship? If you read it aloud, do you have any "yes, buts". The Law of Attraction says that when we believe with our whole being in something, then it is so. But if we have even the slightest doubt, then it doesn't happen. So, before posting your profile, we will tap on releasing your "yes, buts". And then you are ready to go, to have fun, experiment on a dating site.
Week 6: Dating Re-set
After a couple of weeks on a dating site, what has been your experience? What do you need to change? What have you learned about yourself? About dating sites? Remembering always that it is an experiment, an opportunity to get feedback whether there may still be something getting in your way. An opportunity to refine and hone your vision of relationship. Because at the end of the day, the more open you are for relationship, and the greater clarity you have as to what you want, the more likely it is that you will find love
Included in the course is:
What's really holding you back from attracting your beloved?
I said I eventually cracked it. What’s the secret? It’s actually deceptively very simple: it’s not really about the men on dating sites. It’s about you. It’s about your readiness for relationship. It's about identifying and releasing what is holding you back: fears, doubts, beliefs, old patterns.
It's about gaining clarity as to what you have to offer in a relationship. Clarity as to what sort of man you want to spend the rest of your life with. And clarity as to the sort of relationship you want to create.
Release what gets in your way, create your vision, and learn how to put it out in a way that will attract the man who is right for you.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi
Wednesdays, October, 27th-November 24th & December 8th, 2021. 4 p.m. PST